About
I was born in a caravanserai. My parents had been traveling in Turkey, eating motherfucking Turkey legs which they had cut off some dude, when, whoosh!, There went my mother’s amniotic fluid, all over the camel she was riding. Boy was she (the camel) pissed! I guess amniotic fluid smells like camel fear, so it thought my mother was afraid so it decided to assert its’ alpha staus over my mother and threw her to the ground and tried to pee on her, which is what camels do to establish dominance over a subordinate. Well, to make a long story short, all this happened just up desert from a caravaserai parking lot so we decided to rent a manger out back (they had no available hovels) and I was born there, under the watchful guise of some sheep and asses. Later some rich guys came and dropped of some gifts of Frankfurts, Nag Champa and Golden French Vanilla ice cream and we all partied.
Afterwards we moved to sunny old wisconsin after a brief stint in germany. Upon reaching the appropriate age I was promptly enrolled in a private catholic school system and quickly became indoctrinated, while simultaneously being taken to and exposed to (noble!) savage native american rituals and forced to bear witness to real live human sacrifice of a man stabbed repeatedly with a buffalo horn.
Therefore, tis little wonder why in college I am choosing to study religion and focus those studies on tibetan buddhist philosophy and quantum physics, which, incidentally, I believe to be the same thing.
Though, admittedly, nicely rounding off my high school career and beginning my college one with the exciting intention of earning a B.S. in Biology and Environmental Studies has left me with the undeniable rational bias of being unbudgingly skeptical about the validity of the religious experience in general. I tend to be among scientificly minded people and consider myself ethically superior for not being 100% stuck in the “dogma” of scientific factuality, while at the same time considering myself rationally superior to those religious theorists who accept the ineffability of god.
As you can imagine this has left me with quite the social stigma and a considerable identity crisis. If anyone needs me I’ll be in the corner learning irish jigs on the mandolin.
considering that this section is intended for people to get to know me a little bit, I will venture so far to divulge the fact that my favorite color is, always has been, and always will be purple.
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